Monday, March 19, 2012

How a Father Can Mould His Daughter

Fathers are a sense of security to a family. Girls on the other hand view their fathers as the most trusted male person in their lives. Loving and caring. Studies show that within the first 12 years of their lives, girls get 90% of their self-esteem from the relationship with their dad. It is strongly encouraged that fathers maintain this perspective in order for their daughters to have a balance in life.

Men and women are structured differently. A girl has all the traits of her mother in her own dimension. She wants to be loved, appreciated and complimented. She needs attention from the opposite sex and will get to an age of seeking after it if she does not receive it. A father being the first male the girl trusts can divert the energy of attention seeking in girls by playing a "safe male role." Within this role, the father will be doing a few of the things expected of a male gender to a female gender, yet in a conscious state of mind of a father to a daughter relationship.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Mom and Daughter Crepe Paper Projects

When you first present the idea to your daughter about making crepe paper projects with her, she may turn her nose up at the idea thinking she is too old to play with colored paper and make things. Teenage girls are a unique group of individuals. Of course it would be nice if it were a hobby both of you could do together but do not despair if she rejects that idea at first. Teenage girls are independent and may fear your "advice" will ruin the project. Although we are certain she will have plenty of ideas of things to make, we will share a few project ideas with you just in case.

Flowers - Of course, that does not take much imagination. Crepe paper flowers are the most popular project when using crepe paper and most girls like flowers and will enjoy creating centerpieces for their rooms.

Friday, February 10, 2012

What Did You Just Call My Daughter?

On the benefits of having an open mind about one's child called a "retard", or having intellectual deficits, being mentally deficient, and other interesting and ridiculous things...

When I was just starting out as a child and school psychologist in Syracuse, NY almost 35 years ago, I administered batteries of tests to children to determine their eligibility for programs designed to remediate their learning disabilities, what were termed their "handicaps" at that time. Armed with the best that Syracuse University's school and clinical programs taught, I offered parents a clear and cogent understanding (using of course the best practice efforts at that time) of their child's diagnosis and needs in clinical terms.

I was so impossibly wrong about how to go about sharing this information, not having the slightest clue about how to impart this information mindfully and with humility. I cringe at the thought of my arrogance then at those parent interpretives. At remembering how the parents bravely fought not to crack open, break down, cry with shame. And I was so proud of myself: laying out their child's disabilities and deficiencies with devastating clarity.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Eating Disorders: Dealing With Your Anorexic Daughter's Feelings - Part Two

I mentioned in Part One that you have to be careful when you confront the eating disorder. Even though "ED" is in control and the one doing the talking, your daughter is still inside. She is very vulnerable to how you deal with ED's behavior.

One way to confront ED is in an angry tone. You might say, "Well, look who's joined us for dinner tonight!" We're going to have to work hard to help you eat."

Sunday, November 13, 2011

How to Guarantee a Happy Daughter at the End of Your Father-Of-The Bride Speech

So your daughter is about to flee the nest. The date is set and the venue is booked. You've been tapped for a hefty contribution towards the planning of the day. You're keeping lips sealed about the cost of roses versus peonies, Champagne versus Prosecco, starters versus canapés, the necessities of wedding favours, embossed invitations and petals strewn on tables. You really couldn't be more supportive of your daughter's choice of husband and you've been charming to her new in-laws. The Speech.

It is the speech that will be remembered when the food, flowers and invitations are forgotten. Without coming across as too gushing, smug or sentimental. Here are some tips to achieve the right balance:

• Don't turn your speech into a job application or a CV. Yes it's fine to mention some of your daughter's achievements, but weave these around the speech rather than listing facts and figures, grades and graduations in a chronological order.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Why My Daughter Would Not Be Reading Twilight

Stephanie Meyer's Twilight was made popular because of its unique love story between a human, Isabella Swan with a vampire, Edward Cullen. The background was lacking and the characters in the book felt two-dimensional. Isabella Swan, nicknamed Bella, is the main character in the Twilight series. She moved from Phoenix, Arizona to a tiny town of Forks in Washington. It became clear Isabella Swan is a character who is just stubborn. Stephanie Meyer also made Isabella accident prone and impulsive, but forgot to infuse the character with traits and most importantly, a dream. Her lack of plans for her own future concerns me, because it is important for people to have a dream in their lives.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Your Teenage Daughter: Belly Button Rings and Tattoos

If you have a teenage daughter, you've probably encountered a whole laundry list of issues that you had never even considered. Living in this day and age is difficult enough as an adult, but kids really have it hard. Peer pressure isn't new and, in reality, it hasn't changed a lot over the years. Instead, the issues facing kids today are different; no less difficult, but not nearly the same as what you may have encountered when you were a kid.

The issue of how to deal with a teenager is a story that has been written millions of times. You can find books, articles and seminars that purport to teach you how to deal with the hormone-filled youngster that is living in your home, but nothing aside from living through it (and subsequently dealing with the issues) is going to help.